Deep Thoughts

I normally start my day visiting CNN.com and viewing crazy shit that's going on in the world. CNN does a great job of turning shit that shouldn't be news into front page mess, like some kid breaking the the Guitar Hero World Record, or how friends of Jon Gosselin say that he's a different man since he separated from his wife. Neither one of these stories are fabricated, and both of these stories were on the front page of CNN.com. Guitar Hero World record smashes have been on there more than once, and Christian Audigier, who designs Ed Hardy clothing, actually said that Jon Gosselin is a different person from when he was married... and that mind blowing megaton news was on the front friggin' page of CNN.com. There must've been a serious lack of global news that day. Today, I saw this news story. http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/space/10/11/space.clown.lands/index.html It is about the Canadian Billionaire founder of Cirque du Soleil, Guy Laliberte and his 35 Million dollar trip into space on a Russian Space Wessel. Now I'm not one to judge a man on his decadent splurges, but I do have an issue as to his explanation into why he went into space in the first place. I wouldn't have a problem if he had stated that ever since he was a small child, his dream was to become a Astro/Cosmonaut/Test Monkey from China, and blast off into space to view the beautiful planet that we call home from afar. Every kid had that dream, and I think every kid deserves to fulfill his or her childhood wishes should the opportunity arise. Instead, he said he did it to raise awareness for the need of safe drinking water worldwide, and to further extinguish worldwide poverty through his One Drop Foundation. Really? That's like me going out and buying a Ducati in the hopes that people check themselves monthly for butt cancer. I don't know about you... but I'm sure 35 million dollars can buy some sort of adequate water filtration/purification equipment. Fuck... a gallon of bottled water is 99 cents.... the cheap generic shit that's really tap water is even cheaper. That's 35 million gallons or more of clean water right there, Vato. Fuck... If you give me 35 million dollars, I'd run a hose from my backyard all the way to wherever the hell you want me to and just let it pump until the moneys gone. But I'm not a billionaire circus founding clown... and I don't have my own charitable foundation. But if I were, and if I did... I'm pretty sure I'd know that a 35 million dollar trip to space isn't going to generate 35 million dollars in donations, and I sure as hell won't try to use a charitable foundation's good name and reputation to hide the fact that I'm wasting a shit ton of money in a time where the entire world is going through troubled financial, social and political times on the Russian Space Program to put my dumb ass into space. But hey, can you really blame a circus clown?

How YOU doin'?

Dear Diary, I've missed you, girlfriend. Long time no see. Let's clear up some cobwebs, shall we? Things that have happened to me recently. 1) Got Promoted. 2) Probably gonna quit, cause this "promotion" was a joke. 3) Set up Xbox Live. 4) Beat Gears of War on casual, gonna get into hardcore soon enough. 5) Trying to beat Rainbow Six: Vegas... shit is mad excellence. 6) Brad the quarterback dumped me, and went with that sleazeball Jenny to the Prom. 7) Ate a tub of Rocky Road and cried myself to sleep. And that pretty much sums up the awesomeness that is my life thus far. Things I have planned for the future. 1) Create a giant Erawan tattoo for my back. Lao Town represent!!! 2) Look for a new job 3) Beat an assload of games and rack up those achievement points. 4) Trade in the EVO for a sensible car, and maybe get a boat. 5) Sell the house, cash in on the equity and move out west. 6) Make babies. 7) Seek cold hearted revenge on Brad and Jenny... reminder to self... make sure to Google Airborne Syphilis Delivery later.

Hey Bitches!!!

Holla at a brother on XBOX Live!!! See sidebar for link info.

Holy Crap!!!

Happy Two Year Anniversary Blog!!! Has it been that long??? WTF?!?!!

On the lighter side of things...

Man, I'm done posting about sad shit. I'm naturally a happy dude. I've just had a spot of bad karma to balance out all the good karma that I've been stocking up on in the past. When I'm down... I turn to an ancient Japanese proverb which always helps me out. It's so easy. Happy go lucky. We are the world. We did. Hyu Hyu Hyu Hyu. Osu Osu Osu Osu. Yatta Yatta Yatta Yatta!!!

ROBOT MAN

The motto of the freaking universe. Get kicked down, keep getting back up. Get kicked down, keep getting back up. Life spits in your spinach and gives you e-coli... you keep trucking for all it's worth, cause somewhere there's a silver lining on some cloud that's just far enough that you can't see it, but you know it's there somewhere. Or do you know??? You keep reading about some kind of silver lining, people keep telling you about it, I think they send out a monthly newsletter reminding people that the silver lining is still out there, waiting to be found... so there must be one, right??? Philosophically speaking... if you believe, then it must exist. So what if you don't believe??? Who knows??? I don't. Life is a pain in the ass. You just take it, just like you take a multivitamin every morning. The one that tastes like the Aerosol Canned Air that you use to pressure dust your keyboard from all that finger funk and stray hot dog bun crumbs, the one that smells like wet cardboard and the rope that the dirty monkeys swing on at the local zoo. You move that huge lump of think cotton outta the way, grab a half inch pill and you choke it down, unknowing of what effects it has on you and your body. You hope that it does all the miraculous things that people tell you it does. Just because you think it might do you some good to keep doing it. You just do it. Hoping for that silver lining. Does it work??? Who knows??? I don't. I just do it. Good old reliable Pawn. Doing what other people tell him to. Jump like a monkey!!! How High??? Eat Poop!!! The green pile or the red pool... wait, I'm allergic to corn, and that looks only half digested. Just kidding, I love corn.... *crunch*chew*swallow* YUM!!! I'm tired of this monotony. We'll see what cards get shuffled to me in the next round.

Rest In Peace Steve Irwin

When celebrities die, I usually don't give a rats ass unless they touched me emotionally, or sexually in some way. So when I heard that The Croc hunter died, I was freaking devastated. That dude was so passionate about what he did, about what he loved and what he believed in. As a kid, I would watch nature shows until my eyes bled. I was quite a bit older when first watched the Croc hunter, but God damn... I was blown away. I thought this guy was freaking nuts!!! But he was freaking awesome as hell. I never saw anyone do what he did... sure, it was insane... but most of the time, it was for the safety and well being of the animal, as well as the people around him. He put his life on the line for conservation, and he risked his life to teach us things about animals that no other wildlife show would dare do. He opened the door for other nature shows in the same vein, and basically brought The Discovery Channel back to life and made it interesting again. He wasn't just "another celebrity" that no one should care about if he died or not. He was the freaking man. He was awesome. Sure he was monkey nuts, but he was monkey nuts for what he loved. He died creating a show for children. Unlike other celebrities, OD'ed on a hotel toilet.. yet celebrated for decades and soon to be milenniums. He died trying to teach you and your kids awesome stuff, and to get them to love nature and conservation and animals and everything awesome on God's green earth. I respect that shit like a motherfucker. Rest in peace Steve Irwin. You were the freaking man.

JOBBERNAUT SMASH!!!

Hmmmm... what to say, what to say. Summer's almost over, and you all know what that means, school and foosball, halloween and turkeys, leaves turning brown and apple pies cooling on window sills, rock fights and herpes outbreaks. Your basic "yearly things that always happens around this time of year". It's planned out like clockwork by chinese astronomists, on huge copper astral maps, and telescopes made out of human bone, forcefully taken from fallen enemy hordes. Anyhoo... updates, updates. Hmmm... I've lost ten pounds overall. I've lost a lot of fat, and replaced with muscle, so I've slimmed down a little... but the war has just started, and operation Bust A Gut is in phase two. I've memorized all of the Hiragana and Katakana charts, and have actually started reading shit that is written in katakana. Most stuff that is written in katakana is basically "borrowed" words from English anyways, so it's basically like I'm reading English anyways, but with different alpabets. I've got a long ways to go... but I'll keep chipping at it like a chumpy champ. Hmmmm... what else??? Oh, school starts next week. I'm working full time, forty plus hours per week, and then attempting to take twelve credits at school as well. I'm taking Astronomy, Philosophy, Business, and Computer Programming. A whole slew of craziness that fits together like ice balls and Mitsubishi Galant special editions with leather interior. Hopefully, I'm not writing about how I want to kill myself on the next update. Maybe next time, I'll have pics or something. Leave a comment.